It seems to me that Mother’s Day started
out as something simple and sweet when in 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed
a bill recognizing the second Sunday in May as “Mother’s Day”.
Perhaps mom got the biggest serving of porridge for dinner that
night, or everyone chipped in to handle her chores.
Eventually these
quaint niceties changed. As we know, more recently creative
marketers turned Mother’s Day into an opportunity to spend lots of
money on Mother’s Day cards with cute insects on the cover
proclaiming Mom is the “bee’s knees” and an excuse to go out to
eat at your local “TJ O’Brady’s”. But now I think in light
of our brave new world we have realized that those traditions are
half baked like the meatloaf at your local chain, and aren’t really
representative of what the day is supposed to be about.
As a function of its title, Mother’s
Day has to be about women. Somewhere during the first Mother’s
Day, some foolish Dad probably made a joke along the lines of, “A
day just for Moms? What next? Women will get to vote? HA HA HA!”
And a revolution was born. Now women, in my humble XY opinion, seem
to have outdone themselves. Now you are waking up at 4 a.m. to train
for your marathon and pumping breast milk during the board of
directors meeting, you know, because you have “come a long way
baby!” and you can “have it all”. Nice corporate marketing
slogans, but do you want it all? I know men didn’t. Back 50 years
ago when we were in charge we just wanted three martini lunches and a
cute secretary. But since Dolly Parton made “9 to 5” and sexual
harassment rules changed (for the better) women have made great
strides for themselves.
Today the women’s revolution has
progressed farther than the wildest of Suzie B’s dreams. But as a
father to three daughters I think about what kind of world I would
like my girls to live in with more than a passing fancy. Actually,
it’s more like I think about it with abject fear. That is because
women today still face a myriad of issues like breaking through the
glass ceiling and/or being elected President, being told what to do
with their body, pay inequality, discrimination, abuse in its ugliest
forms, and being whistled at as they pass construction sites. Those
are just the one’s I came up with as a man.
Whew. Just thinking about tackling
those issues is exhausting. I don’t know how women got this far.
But if nothing else we have learned just how strong and determined
women can be. Just as I am determined to get back to the reason I
have the opportunity to write for you: Mother’s Day.
As a dad,
Mothers day can be stressful. It is yet another opportunity for
us men to show that perhaps we do not understand you, and an opportunity
for our ill-conceived expression of thanks to disappoint you. At
least this is how things work in my world. So, keeping budgetary
concerns in mind, I am always faced with an intimidating challenge:
finding a meaningful Mother’s Day gift. All I know is to shoot
higher than the lint in my pocket and lower than a new car. This is
mostly because my wife would responsibly return the car so we could
all go on vacation, not because she doesn’t deserve it. As for the
lint, I just do not feel like I did my job as a husband if I show up
with absolutely nothing. So it’s with that in mind that here I
will make an attempt to thank Mothers everywhere with the cheapest
and most powerful of gifts: words.
Mothers are awesome. You are
caretakers, leaders, titans of industry and cleaners of spills and
bedrooms. Although any involved dad knows parenting isn’t easy,
you often make it look that way. You seem to have special reserves
of patience and resolve we Dads wished we had. Moms have passed me
on the road on their way to crossing another item off their list, and
they have passed me on the trail, yet another “do it all” mom
smoothly sailing by me during the Peachtree City 15k. Women, you
have the power inside to accomplish anything.
Mothers are beautiful. Whether it is
the pajamas you are wearing while you secretly put together
Christmas gifts or the fancy outfit you put on when we finally get a
date night, you glow with the vibrancy of a woman who knows who she
is and is living life to its fullest, even if it is overwhelming
sometimes (and it is!). As a mom you are sophisticated, refined, and
just a little crazy. We can’t get enough of you.
Mothers are the core of the family. I
feel like that is the essence of motherhood. Mothers are there for
us not because of duty or responsibility, but because they simply
couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than helping their children,
young or otherwise. Whether their kids need an ice cream sundae or a
kick in the pants, Moms seem to know just what to do. For this and
everything else you do, we thank you.
So to any men, however many Mothers you
find in your life, treat them a little extra special this year.
Write them a story where they are the hero. Plant them the vegetable
garden they have mentioned wanting a few times. You and your
musically gifted kids get together and sing her an off-key song.
Find a way to let her know she is special.
Besides, Father’s Day is just around
the corner.
John
Pfeiffer is the proud father of three and author of Dude You’re
Gonna Be a Dad. You can check out his fatherly advice (and gripes)
and ramblings at http://www.dudeyoureadad.blogspot.com/
and follow him on Twitter at @johnpfeifferdad .
