a dad's musings on mother's day

Hello, how are you? Happy Mother’s Day! I was honored to be asked to be a guest on Kristi’s blog. She asked me to share a few of my thoughts as a dad about Mother’s Day. I hope I don’t get myself in trouble.

It seems to me that Mother’s Day started out as something simple and sweet when in 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing the second Sunday in May as “Mother’s Day”. Perhaps mom got the biggest serving of porridge for dinner that night, or everyone chipped in to handle her chores. 

Eventually these quaint niceties changed. As we know, more recently creative marketers turned Mother’s Day into an opportunity to spend lots of money on Mother’s Day cards with cute insects on the cover proclaiming Mom is the “bee’s knees” and an excuse to go out to eat at your local “TJ O’Brady’s”. But now I think in light of our brave new world we have realized that those traditions are half baked like the meatloaf at your local chain, and aren’t really representative of what the day is supposed to be about.

As a function of its title, Mother’s Day has to be about women. Somewhere during the first Mother’s Day, some foolish Dad probably made a joke along the lines of, “A day just for Moms? What next? Women will get to vote? HA HA HA!” And a revolution was born. Now women, in my humble XY opinion, seem to have outdone themselves. Now you are waking up at 4 a.m. to train for your marathon and pumping breast milk during the board of directors meeting, you know, because you have “come a long way baby!” and you can “have it all”. Nice corporate marketing slogans, but do you want it all? I know men didn’t. Back 50 years ago when we were in charge we just wanted three martini lunches and a cute secretary. But since Dolly Parton made “9 to 5” and sexual harassment rules changed (for the better) women have made great strides for themselves.

Today the women’s revolution has progressed farther than the wildest of Suzie B’s dreams. But as a father to three daughters I think about what kind of world I would like my girls to live in with more than a passing fancy. Actually, it’s more like I think about it with abject fear. That is because women today still face a myriad of issues like breaking through the glass ceiling and/or being elected President, being told what to do with their body, pay inequality, discrimination, abuse in its ugliest forms, and being whistled at as they pass construction sites. Those are just the one’s I came up with as a man.

Whew. Just thinking about tackling those issues is exhausting. I don’t know how women got this far. But if nothing else we have learned just how strong and determined women can be. Just as I am determined to get back to the reason I have the opportunity to write for you: Mother’s Day.

As a dad, Mothers day can be stressful. It is yet another opportunity for us men to show that perhaps we do not understand you, and an opportunity for our ill-conceived expression of thanks to disappoint you. At least this is how things work in my world. So, keeping budgetary concerns in mind, I am always faced with an intimidating challenge: finding a meaningful Mother’s Day gift. All I know is to shoot higher than the lint in my pocket and lower than a new car. This is mostly because my wife would responsibly return the car so we could all go on vacation, not because she doesn’t deserve it. As for the lint, I just do not feel like I did my job as a husband if I show up with absolutely nothing. So it’s with that in mind that here I will make an attempt to thank Mothers everywhere with the cheapest and most powerful of gifts: words.

Mothers are awesome. You are caretakers, leaders, titans of industry and cleaners of spills and bedrooms. Although any involved dad knows parenting isn’t easy, you often make it look that way. You seem to have special reserves of patience and resolve we Dads wished we had. Moms have passed me on the road on their way to crossing another item off their list, and they have passed me on the trail, yet another “do it all” mom smoothly sailing by me during the Peachtree City 15k. Women, you have the power inside to accomplish anything.

Mothers are beautiful. Whether it is the pajamas you are wearing while you secretly put together Christmas gifts or the fancy outfit you put on when we finally get a date night, you glow with the vibrancy of a woman who knows who she is and is living life to its fullest, even if it is overwhelming sometimes (and it is!). As a mom you are sophisticated, refined, and just a little crazy. We can’t get enough of you.

Mothers are the core of the family. I feel like that is the essence of motherhood. Mothers are there for us not because of duty or responsibility, but because they simply couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than helping their children, young or otherwise. Whether their kids need an ice cream sundae or a kick in the pants, Moms seem to know just what to do. For this and everything else you do, we thank you.

So to any men, however many Mothers you find in your life, treat them a little extra special this year. Write them a story where they are the hero. Plant them the vegetable garden they have mentioned wanting a few times. You and your musically gifted kids get together and sing her an off-key song. Find a way to let her know she is special.

Besides, Father’s Day is just around the corner.

John Pfeiffer is the proud father of three and author of Dude You’re Gonna Be a Dad. You can check out his fatherly advice (and gripes) and ramblings at http://www.dudeyoureadad.blogspot.com/ and follow him on Twitter at @johnpfeifferdad .